whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
