Quick, to the slutcave!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
