the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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