Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
