hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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