you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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