He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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