never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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