Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
