You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
