he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
