My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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