I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
