At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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