just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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