i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
