Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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