Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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