My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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