ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
