Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
