Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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