I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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