So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
