oh god the rape fog is back!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
