I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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