There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
well you can't waste a boner
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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