I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
