How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
