So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Randomize
