everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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