Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
