There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
