I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize