I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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