I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
