I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
