i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
