Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
