Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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