Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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