I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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