Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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