Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
