I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
