All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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