I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The adults are the big ones right?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
