waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
