I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
