No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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